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Which hat do YOU wear?


April 08, 20244 min read

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is: "the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you."

I’ve always loved wearing hats

“As I share my story, I realize that I am not alone in this experience. Wanting to start my own business was a vision. Opening a hat store was my dream. Having graduated from university with a degree in economics, I felt I had the knowledge to manage the financial side of running a business. I also knew it would be a challenge because really, how many people actually wear fancy hats today? There were milliners, manufacturers and importers to source; there was a retail location needed in an area that would cater to the right clientele; there were store fixtures to purchase; there was a myriad other things that needed to be put into place before I could actually celebrate the “Grand Opening” that I had envisioned.

And then the doubts began. I knew what I wanted but, where to start? Was I being realistic? Did I have enough capital to undertake this venture? Did I really know enough about people, about hats, about selling? How will I find clients? How will I promote the business? What is the marketing process? What do I know about social media? What have I gotten myself into?

And, like many new business owners, I felt that I had to do everything by myself. The store start-up was costing much more than I had anticipated. The last thing that I could afford was getting outside help. What started out as being a happy venture quickly became a nightmare; I was overwhelmed and losing confidence in myself. I felt that suppliers were sensing my insecurities and taking advantage of me. I didn’t know how to express my needs clearly. I postponed making critical decisions about things that should have been addressed early on.

In hindsight, I knew that I had a good idea for a successful business and that I really did know what I was doing; however, that negative voice inside me almost paralyzed me, almost causing me to give up on my dream. I lost sight of the “why” of starting my business. It very nearly got in the way of my success; I nearly got in the way of my success.” Bonnie H.

How do people get in the way of their own success? If, instead of working for you, your own behavior creates obstacles, you are “getting in your own way”.

Examples include:

Letting my self-doubt cloud my awareness of what is actually happening.

Being unclear or vague when conveying what I want, what I need or how I feel.

Overthinking or overanalyzing to the point of paralysis.

Saying yes to everything and then wondering why I always feel so overwhelmed.

Postponing, or skirting a difficult conversation and prolonging a problem instead of addressing it.

Listening to the negative voice in my head that criticizes me instead of the one that is supportive.

Refusing to ask for help.

If these sound familiar, you are sabotaging your emotional intelligence. It is very difficult to overcome this drain on your actual abilities; it blocks your visions of success, your ability to communicate with clarity and authority, and ultimately sends you into a tailspin from which you see no escape. Do you see yourself in the story above?

Here are 7 effective tips to help you develop your emotional intelligence:

effective tips

1. Practice observing how you feel: Start paying attention to your emotions and try to understand what triggers them.

2. Pay attention to how you behave: Observe how your emotions affect your behavior and how you react to certain situations.

3. Question your own opinions: Challenge your own beliefs and opinions to gain a better understanding of yourself and others.

4. Take responsibility for your feelings: Don't blame others for how you feel. Take ownership of your emotions and learn to manage them effectively.

5. Take time to celebrate the positive: Focus on the good things in your life and celebrate your successes.

6. But don't ignore the negative: Acknowledge and address the negative emotions and experiences in your life.

7. Don't forget to breathe: Take deep breaths to calm yourself down and gain control over your emotions.

It is important to not lose sight of your original ideals, ideas and why you wanted to start your own business. The problem is that you lose objectivity in the complex processes of building your business. In other words, you cannot see beyond the immediate challenges because you cannot step outside of yourself to see things from a detached, impartial viewpoint.

An outside resource, such as a business coach, brings that objectivity back into focus without the emotions that may be hindering you, and provides the guidance that will help you regain and maintain emotional intelligence equilibrium. This outside help is never an expense but an investment in your business success. With this help you can achieve the success that you envisioned.

8 Reasons

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Carola Mittag

Carola is a retired business owner and executive, who now writes for others in a 3rd act career!

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Cheryl North Johnson

Jeff has been an excellent mentor and business coach for me. He has provided me with valuable guidance and support as I navigate the challenges of being a business owner. With his help I was able to develop a business plan. Jeff holds me accountable for my progress. Having someone who can provide me with objective feedback and encouragement can be very helpful, especially during challenging times. It's also important to have someone who you can vent to and who can help you process your emotions as you face various obstacles. Overall, Jeff has been an asset to my business and personal growth.

Nick Malcolm

Jeff has been instrumental in the growth of my business. As a young entrepreneur with no funds to speak of, Jeff was able to work with me and truly help me get my business off the ground. I’m happily self employed full time and living my dreams. It wouldn’t have been possible without my meetings with Jeff, thank you so much my friend!

Brenda Osbaldeston, E.D. MOMS Canada

I contacted Infinite Business Solutions to help our board move forward for the coming year. From our immediate contact, Jeff Walters was amazing. He listened to my concerns about our organization and asked questions, enabling me to realize where our struggles are. He was accommodating as to the timing for the workshop. The day of the presentation he arrived early, had a very warm and gentle way about himself. Jeff explained the purpose of our workshop and the importance of honest discussion to help us figure how to move forward. Jeff made sure each member was part of the discussion and allowed for each member to be themselves. The whole workshop was relaxed and very productive. I appreciate Jeff's professionalism and his respectful approach. This workshop allowed for our board to come up with a true focus, a direction for the next 12 months and the solutions as to how we get there. I highly recommend Infinite Business Solutions for any business or organization that needs a clear view on looking at their struggles and finding a focused direction of the solutions.

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